New Puppy vs Work – Roberta

We’ve got a new addition to the Morris-Emirali family – a Chihuahua puppy! She’s everything we thought she would be. Tiny, totally adorable and expensive.

You’ve caught me on DAY 3 of our new puppy life and my thoughts so far are ‘This isn’t terrible at all!’. What’s not to like? Endless cuddles, longing loving stares and raisin sized poops. I can deal with raisins. Raisins are alright. Grapes are gross. Guavas are a nightmare.

Obviously being in my early thirties I had an obligatory right of passage to follow – you either have a baby or get a dog if you’re from the home counties. I can’t be dealing with all the agony and ecstasy of having a baby just yet, so we opted for the latter.

Before embarking on this new adventure (and huge commitment) with my boyfriend, we did a survey with our friends and family who own dogs to see what the crack actually is with being a dog owner. Top tips were

1 – Get a crate. They love it.

2 – Be firm. The hard work at the beginning pays off in the long term.

3 – Start potty training from the second you start with your puppy.

4 – Train them to do a Tesco shop home delivery on your iPhone, if you can.

And here was my response to all advice given pre and post having puppy

1 – Crate.

Pre – ‘No! She’s a being, a precious creature on this planet. I’d never lock her up.’

Post – ‘ The dog absolutely loves the crate. Can’t get her out of it’

2 – Be firm

Pre – ‘I’m going to be so firm. Like a female version of Cesar Milan’

Post – She got into our bed this morning and I was too comfy to even bother getting her out.

3 – Potty training

Pre – ‘I’m going to nail this!’

Post – ‘I’ve absolutely nailed this!’ We have some sort of self trained freak dog who has actually only ever pooed and weed outside. Hurrah for us. However, I can hear you say ‘She’s only on day three sunshine. You just wait until it’s sick in your shoes as you’re leaving for work’.

4 – Train them

Pre – ‘She’ll be at Crufts before the week is out’

Post – ‘She won’t be at Crufts before the week is out.’ BUT she does know her name and essentially what ‘No’ means. Tesco home delivery training is pending.

While it is a total joy having her around, I do still have to hold down a job and get my work done.

I’m not surprised so many people had issues with their lock down dogs when they had to go back to work. It must have been a shock for everyone involved having gone from so much time together to then being alone a lot. I’m hoping the same doesn’t happen to us. Luckily, I have a very flexi working situation, so this shouldn’t be an issue. But who knows if I’m going to get dogsiety when I leave for work on Mondays or if the dog is going to get the chronic condition known as ‘lap-dog-itis’.

We’re over the moon with our little lady. And while I work, she’s either playing with a very phallic chew toy that looks like a totally fabulous and totally ‘over it’ drag queen (affectionately named ‘Mr Corn’) or she is asleep nestled between my bosom.

In a side note, Lillie’s Kitchen can f**k off. Who on earth is this multimillionaire Lillie sat in her ivory Kitchen selling dog treats at £4 a pop. Lillie, I’ll be looking out for you on the Forbes list this year. Obviously my dog is hooked on your boujie treats, greedy Lillie. You’ve successfully converted my pup over to a lifelong addiction to spenny treats – well done Lillie. Well bloody done. £4 used to be a small glass of horrid wine or a bottle of La Weekend Cab Sav. My wine allocation now is literally being eaten by my dog. Cheers Lil.

If you’re interested in some more PUPdates, give this blog post a share or comment below.

Oh and if you were wondering we named her BJORK.

Because she’s ‘oh so quiet and peaceful until….’