5 Worst New Years Resolutions – Roberta

Don’t do it to yourself in 2022.

The agonising over dull diets and promising yourself (and your friends) you’re going to find love. Don’t start the year flicking fags into the gutter or even throwing away precious wine down the sink. Don’t do it. Instead of joining the gym, spending £80 a month walking around the gym floor listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place and kind of/ sort of jogging on the treadmill for 4 minutes and then calling it quits; just don’t even start the gym in the first place. And breathe. Doesn’t that feel refreshing to be told to do nothing? Well, not nothing…

My resolutions every year are incredibly epic. I see myself as becoming the next Anna Wintor as well as taking on three lovers who look like Channing Tatum, Kevin Hart and Louis Theroux (it’s the specs that do it for me). On top of this I’d like to write a Caitlin Moran standard novel, invent an environmentally friendly gadget that makes Elon Musk quake and generally be excellent at baking so that I win Bake Off and Paul Hollywood not only gives me a handshake but shuts down the show as no one could ever surpass my exquisite cheese straw sculpture of Theresa May. As you can imagine, I’ve achieved not one of these things.


I did achieve something way better than those things during New Year lockdown last year and I’m certainly happy to share my alternatives with anyone else who feels exasperated by empty ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ (bore OFF). Here’s a list of totally unhelpful rubbish you shouldn’t do and (hopefully) some game changing alternatives which might just stick this time…

1. Lose weight

Alternative – put energy into your mental health. Duh! Find meditation hippy dippy?  – It’s not. It’s very cool now and after a week of using the Calm or Headspace app, you’ll feel lighter, brighter and a bit more you.

Are your work hours bleeding into relaxation time? Well, I give you permission to tell your phone to ‘naff off’ past the hours you’re paid for. You’re welcome. A great book which explores more mindful working patterns is ‘The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country’ by Helen Russel

2. Find love 

Alternative – Reconnect with an old work friend who made you feel ‘YIPPEE’ when they walked through the office door. Not only will you be able to have a laugh over how the boss had it off with Terry from accounts BUT you might be able to identify why they were so easy to work with. What energy did they bring? What skills? What methods of practice did you adopt from them? 

We really do lean on those we work around, and every brain brings a new way of working. Adopt the techniques you like and leave the ones you don’t.

3. Get that promotion 

Alternative – Invent a role for yourself or start a side hustle. Heard of the gig economy? Lots of people have. Those people who are now taking on a serious side hustle and making some money as well as loving it. Did you know you don’t have to declare earnings up to £1000 made by extra income. So if you want to start that Etsy business or sell a few lovely candles on Instagram, go for it. PLUS you might absolutely love the ownership and entrepreneurial element of it – you might become the next Holly Tucker.

4. Drink less 

Alternative – Don‘t drink less – drink better stuff! Swap out the cheap stuff (Tesco prosecco & Aldi home brew gin are personal favorites of mine) and buy one or two lovely bottles of deliciousness. Gin recommendations – Monkey 47 £46 , Henricks Lunar £38, Champagne  – Pol Roger £50 or Naked Wines have a deal on at the moment for 6 wines for £20. Plus, you get £10 back on every referral you make. You could end up getting wine for free.  You’ll nurture every sip that little bit more with a heavier price tag rather than swigging it back just because. Of course, there are those days when swigging it back are necessary in which case, have the ‘secco on standby.

5. Network more 

Alternative – Use your social media better. I don’t mean endlessly scroll and like Sarah Smith’s from school photo of her new Cockapoo. I mean, get clued up on how to target like minded communities and establish real connections. Search your # on Instagram for industry buzz words and start to like and comment on content that speaks to you. If you comment on someone’s post, you’re 40% more likely to get a new follower. Social networking isn’t all about followers but gaining quality followers is a win-win situation. In fact, you might want to start thinking about the content you’re sending out. Your posts, stories and reels don’t have to be all work and no play, just post interesting content that you would like to see. Build on what you already have.

Now some of my alternatives to the regular New Year’s resolutions are far more useful than others. Nevertheless, myself and the team at My Mustard would absolutely love to hear and see (send us a photo or video or reel) of your small wins off the back of this post. Tag us at @mymustardppc on Instagram or pop us a message HERE