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  • Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  • Drink may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question.
  • There's no future in time travel.
  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Why do they lock petrol station toilets, are they afraid someone will clean them?
  • I couldn't care less about apathy.
  • A day without sunshine is like... err...night.
  • There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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