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Trying to get tickets to see an Elvis tribute band, but when I phone it keeps saying press 1 for the money 2 for the show...
What did one ball say to the other ball? Nothing - he just looked round.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
If you lend someone a tenner and never see them again, it was probably worth it.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but I took my girlfriend on a merry-go-round, and I gave her a hot dog once.