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Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
If money grew on trees, girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.
“The difficult thing with quotes on the internet is verifying them”. Abraham Lincoln
I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.
All men are animals, some just make better pets.