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  • Gutted the wife has left me! She’s took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too. No woman no Sky
  • Just seen a French footballer playing on a Nintendo… It was Thierry on Wii
  • Did you hear about the police that raided a library in Bucharest?
  • I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • Origami Bank had folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up, Karaoke Bank is going for a song & Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.
  • Friends come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
  • Somebody just threw a bottle of omega 3 capsules at me. Luckily my injuries are only super fish oil.
  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
  • Friction can be a real drag.
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